Just married
by Voidance
Summary: It was just an accident. It really was. So why the heck are they engaged now? Shizaya, AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Just married

**Rating: **M

**Pairing: **Shizuo/Izaya

**Warning: **Yaoi. OOCness.

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own all of them. In my perverted dreams.

**A/N: **Miai is a Japanese traditional custom where two people are introduced to each other to consider possibility of marriage (thank you, wikipedia). I have absolutely no idea what the equivalent word in English is, so I guess we'll just have to settle with that one orz.

* * *

**Chapter I**

It was exactly 9:45 am when a fridge came flying out of the Heiwajima mansion's window.

Much less to say, innocent people who were just innocently passing by at the time didn't appreciate the event very well. They were shocked. They were silent. And then they started panicking. _Was that a fridge? Yes, that __**was**_ _a fridge, _their frantic whispers started to pile up in the air like water bubbles in a boiling pot, enthusiastically signaling that the flying object would very soon become the central of all Ikebukuro women's gossip circles.

Gossips were never good.

And so Tanaka Tom, the dutiful butler, calmly decided that it was time to demand a raise in his already horribly high salary because he would have to fix the luxurious labyrinth of roses for the fifteenth time that month.

Kyouhei Kadota let out a wistful sigh, having already known that it would be wise to keep his mouth shut for the time being and just carry on with his tasks like a faithful servant probably should.

"…Ne Yumacchi, do you think that that fridge was a sign of God? Maybe we're about to be conquered by the Holy Britannian Empire! Or human beings are about to evolve into…" Right next to him, Karisawa Erika twitched with excitement as she grabbed her favorite partner's hands, before both of them happily skipped towards the horizon.

Over all, it was pretty much a peaceful morning.

…Except for the fact that Heiwajima Shizuo was pissed.

It was only 9:45 in the morning, and he was _pissed_.

Honestly, it was not like the he didn't know how to control his anger. In fact, he had been doing quite a good job of keeping his emotion meter in check for the last few days (he hadn't been paying those anger management classes for nothing after all). It was not until this morning when he stepped into the kitchen, ready for breakfast that Shizuo came to a brilliant decision that his self-control could just go and fuck itself.

For a while, the second son of the Heiwajima family just stood there, eyes burning vicious holes into the wooden surface of the kitchen table.

_Mom and Dad arranged a miai. Don't wanna go. You go instead._

_Your beloved brother,_

_Delic_

_P/s: Don't glare. You know my heart's fragile._

The note smirked at him, and Shizuo twitched.

In a far corner of the room, Dokusonmaru idly licked his paw, before the feline gracefully danced away, just in time to dodge a chair being thrown violently at its direction.

Oh yes, it was pretty much a _very _peaceful morning.

o0o

The car screeched to a halt.

Shizuo glanced at his watch before internally damning his twin seven ways to hell and back. That fucking Delic should at least have the decency to leave him the _address _of the hotel where that miai was going to be. The bastard knew damn well that their father, being the CEO of the one of the biggest corporations in Japan, was not really that patient when it came to punctuality.

On second thought, maybe Delic was just fond of making Shizuo's life miserable.

The younger Heiwajima didn't even remember when this whole disaster had begun. Perhaps it was far back when they were still innocent little children, when his older brother broke grandma's precious vase and told everyone that Shizuo was the culprit. Or perhaps it was back in high school when Delic shamelessly flirted with the girl Shizuo had a crush on before dumping her mercilessly on Valentine's Day. Or perhaps it was when their father finally announced that his elder son had been chosen to be the heir of the Heiwajima Corporation, and that from then on, Delic should be dragged to omiais every other day so that he could choose for himself a fitting bride.

His older brother hated omiais, and Shizuo sure as hell didn't like them either.

Because most of the times Delic had to go, he would be forced to take his twin's place instead. The smooth bastard would somehow _always _find a way to either bribe or threaten Shizuo into being his replacement, and to the younger Heiwajima's surprise (and anger), their parents had bought it _every single_ time.

Golden eyes narrowed behind magenta lenses.

_Fucking Delic, _he cursed once more as his fingers tangled into blond hair, trying to make it less messy while he walked a little faster towards the restaurant.

The automatic door opened with a soft clicking sound.

Shizuo flicked his phone open. Now which floor was it aga-

The blond almost dropped the device as his shoulders bumped hard into something soft. He hastily lifted his head up, a bit worried as he knew that the accursed strength that he was born with might have already caused damage to the unsuspecting victim. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Not at all, sir, it was partly my fault anyway." He blinked as a silky voice reached his ears.

"Are you okay?"

"…Ah? I'm fine, thank you." The Heiwajima responded, blushing slightly as he realized that he had been staring. But hey, it was not every day that you get to see such a deep red eye color. The man still looked Japanese nonetheless, with a bit of a skinny body and black hair that complimented his pale complexion.

"You seem to be looking for something, sir?" It was when the stranger spoke up again that Shizuo noticed the uniform he was wearing.

_So he's a waiter…_

Somehow, Shizuo had an odd feeling that the raven didn't look like one.

"Yeah" He smiled nervously, pushing the thought to the back of his head. "I'm looking for this room…"

"Oh? You're Heiwajima-san, I suppose? Please follow me."

The blond smiled slightly as he complied, suddenly finding his mood a bit brightened.

o0o

…And now he was bored again.

Really, _really _bored_._

That woman had been talking non-stop for the last two hours.

Apparently she was a doctor. Or something. And Shizuo sincerely couldn't care less about her startling discovery in the treatment of that ago-something-phobia.

"-and this is really important because two third of the population who have agoraphobia are women-"

He wanted to bang his head onto something.

Fucking Delic.

He was really going to strangle the bastard when he saw him again.

"My, my, Harima-san, you're really a person that can make us women proud, aren't you?" His mother gracefully brought a hand to her mouth, a smile dawned on her lips as she complimented the pink-haired woman.

_Funny, how she can talk as if she understands __**anything**__._

"Delic, how about talking Harima-san out for a little walk?" _Oh, right, here it comes. _"We adults have something to discuss here, so you two just take your time."

The blond almost rolled his eyes. Almost.

"Would you like to go for a walk with me then, Harima-san?" he smiled, trying to imitate his twin's charming attitude as best as he could. _Hurry up so that I can turn you down, go home, and let Delic deal with the consequences. _

The woman giggled.

Shizuo had the urge to return to his car and drive home immediately.

They exited the room in uncomfortable silence. Or it was uncomfortable for the younger Heiwajima at least, for he knew his beloved (albeit a bit unusual) mother had planned at least three years ahead and was now probably discussing about where they should build the baby's room. Sometimes the blond did wonder why his father had never attempted to stop his wife from overdoing everything, despite being the rational businessman that he was.

Shizuo sighed.

He really, _really_ hated this job.

Fucking Delic.

The blond was suddenly pulled from his stream of thought as he found himself being pinned against the wall.

_Wait, what?_

…Shouldn't he be the one doing all the pinning? He was the guy here, after all.

Wait, fuck, that wasn't even his problem at the moment.

"H-Harima-san…" Shizuo massaged his forehead, trying to think of a way out. He couldn't just push her away with that monstrous strength of his.

"I've been waiting for you, Delic."

_No honorifics? Excuse me, miss, but are we at that phase already?_

"I'm so happy to see you again." The pink-haired woman chirped, cheerfully threading her fingers into his hair. The younger Heiwajima almost flinched when she smiled lovingly at him. "I just can't forget the other night…"

Oh_. Oh._

So she was one of those one-night stands.

He wanted to break something. Anything. Preferably his older brother's head. The sex maniac had definitely known this from the beginning, and now he was leaving his poor little brother to deal with the disaster.

Shizuo hated his life.

Harima-san leaned in a bit closer.

No. He had to do something. Anything. Had to get himself out of this mess before God did.

"…Sir, I think this belongs to you."

Silence.

Two heads turned to look at the raven simultaneously. As if not knowing what he had just interrupted, the man smiled gracefully before handing out a small, yet beautiful pen. "I think you dropped it when we bumped into each other earlier, Heiwajima-san."

Golden eyes blinked.

And blinked.

And blinked.

Before something clicked inside his head, and Shizuo reached out to grab the waiter's arm, pulling the shorter man towards him.

He was going to be damned to Hell. But so was his bastard of a brother.

"Harima-san," A smile. "I'm gay. And this is my boyfriend."

o0o

It all sounded like a cosmic joke. Or a sick comedy. But that was how it happened.

Shizuo cringed when a high-pitched scream penetrated through the air, threatening to either break his eardrums completely or at least give him hearing problemsfor the entire month afterwards. Harima Mika started to sob, sob, _sob _before turning on her heels and running dramatically towards the room they had just walked out of. The blond waited until her small silhouette disappeared completely from his sight, before letting out a heavy sigh and looking down on the still stunned waiter in his arm.

Ruby orbs blinked at him with an unreadable expression.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this" The blond scratched his head, sighing for the nth time that day. "Look, I will… make it up to you. Just… keep this a secret, okay?"

No response.

"Excuse me, uhm…"

"…Izaya." A moment of silent, and then he almost jumped when the raven suddenly spoke up.

"My name's Orihara Izaya."

"Orihara-san" He acknowledged. "Please don't tell anyone about what happened today."

A nod.

"Thank you very much." He smiled slightly, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. "Here… let me…"

A hand held him back.

"I don't need you to "make it up", Heiwajima-san. You have my promise not totell." Izaya tilted his head to the side, amusement evident in his voice. "Good luck."

The younger Heiwajima batted his eyelashes, and then a small smile graced his lips. "Thank you then. I have to go now… Orihara-san." Shizuo whispered.

_He really is a nice man…_

The blond turned on his heels and walked away, not realizing that a small blush had found its way onto his cheeks.

o0o

"Well… I just left you for a second and _that_ was what you got yourself into? Amazing, Izaya-kun."

The raven chuckled softly as an arm suddenly wrapped around his shoulders. He didn't even need to turn around to know who that annoyingly cheerful voice belonged to. "Thought you had work to do?"

"Yep. Luckily I returned in time." A pause. "So… what are you going to do now?" Kishitani Shinra snickered, his glasses shone mischievously as he glanced at the other man. "This is getting interesting ne… _boss_?"

Re-adjusting his tie, Orihara Izaya felt the corner of his mouth twitch, before an eerie smirk crept onto his face.

"We'll see~"

o0o


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter II**

Karisawa Erika couldn't help but shiver in excitement.

She had practically been sleeping, eating, breathing yaoi for almost a good twenty two years of her life, but heck, this had to be the first time she was able to witness such a real, such a... such a _passionate_ confession. It wasn't like anything she had imagined before. Her heart had almost imploded with joy, and for now, she was sure that it was impossible to prevent a broad, creepy grin from spreading all over her face.

Never mind that Shizuo-sama and that man had declared their love in the middle of the day and in front of a shell-shocked woman instead of under the moonlight.

Never mind that the rain hadn't been screaming a tragic, heart breaking song to express its ultimate angst like in those cheesy novels.

Never mind that there hadn't been any sparkles and flying roses (though she had always been pretty fond of the sparkling element); never mind that the romantic moment had only survived for less than two minutes.

This thing was real.

_I'm gay. And this is my boyfriend._

_I'm gay. And this is my boyfriend._

_I'm gay. And this-_

"Karisawa-san, please stop replaying that video already! You've been watching it over and over for the last three hours!" Besides her, Yumasaki Walker huffed, half disappointed that his favorite partner's attention had been stolen away from him, and half freaked out as the eerie chuckles he had come to know so well kept echoing eerily inside the small room.

"But Yumacchi! This is an official yaoi moment! No wonder Shizuo-sama had never been in a relationship with a woman before! Can you see the way he looked at Izaya-kun? Or the way Izaya-kun smiled back at our young master? Or the way-"

"They were just _pretending_." the blond cut her off, rolling his eyes as Erika abused the replay button on her camera one more time. "Nothing more, nothing less."

"-And Izayan looks really young! He can pass as a high-school student with that face!" A squeal proved to him that he was totally ignored. "Ne, ne, I think we can make a Shotacon doujinshi from this! I mean, Shizuo-sama might actually be a pedo-"

A heavy sigh escaped Walker's lips as he realized that there was no way he could bring his friend back from her la-la land for the time being. It had been a really bad idea to come to that restaurant in search of writing materials for his latest yuri novel. Erika wouldn't live this down for at least another three months.

The blond sobbed inwardly. All he had wanted was some yuri in action.

He was pulled out of his endless stream of self-pity, however, when his companion quickly flipped her phone open and punched in a bunch of numbers.

"Who're you calling?" he asked.

"You remember Mai-chan and KuruKuru? I'm paying them a visit."

"But wha-" Walker paled as realization came and gracefully kicked him on the face.

"K-Karisawa-san, you aren't gonna…?"

The smirk on Erika's lips confirmed his suspicion.

The blond waved his hands frantically, "Oh no you don't! If you do that, even if you're a girl, Shizuo-san's gonna beat you up bad! Like really, _really_ bad! Karisawa-saaaaaan…"

Kadota almost dropped the vase he was carrying as a horribly high-pitched scream pierced through his ears. He scratched his head, eyeing the closed door to Walker's room curiously.

_I wonder what those two are up to again…_

o0o

The next morning, Tanaka Tom almost choked on his tea the moment he turned on the television.

"What the…?" the butler mumbled in disbelief, lost in his own thought as the twin reporters on the screen continued to chatter happily as if nothing out of the ordinary had just occurred.

o0o

The constant ringing of his cellphone was annoying Shizuo to no end. The blond shifted under the tangling mess of sheets and pillows, eyes clenching tight as a grimace tainted his previously peaceful expression. The day before had been particularly tiring to him, and the blond found himself desperately in need of his beauty sleep. He wanted it, and he wanted it _now_. Fuck the bastard who was giving him calls that early on a Sunday morning.

The device continued to whine.

Shizuo contemplated if he should just throw it out of the window.

As if already knew his murderous intention, the evil spawn of a machine decided to shut up, before _happily_ screamed again at the top of its non-existent lungs. With a curse rolling not so smoothly out of his lips, the younger Heiwajima slid out of bed and grumpily made his way towards his desk. Flipping his phone open, golden eyes narrowed when he recognized the caller ID.

"Hi, dad." He answered with a sleep-clouded voice, hoping, _hoping_ that his father would pick up the situation like the smart man that he was.

"_Shizuo, is Delic with you?"_

The blond cocked an eyebrow at the question, before realizing that his twin must have turned off his cell in case their parents called to complain about whatever Shizuo had done during the miai. The clever bastard.

"He didn't go home yesterday. Said he had some stuff to do, but he didn't tell me where he was going." _Who knows, maybe now he's already somewhere in England_, the golden-eyed man thought to himself, absent-mindedly casting his gaze to the wall in front of him, trying to count how many dirty spots there were while waiting for his father's responses.

He didn't have to wait for long, though, when his mother's excited voice burst through the phone. _"Tell him to go meet us immediately when he gets back then! My, your brother, he dared to hide such a thing from us all!"_ Something suspiciously akin to a squeal resounded from the machine, before the line went off.

Utter silence.

For a good five minutes Shizuo just stood there, staring at the phone in his hand as if it had just suddenly grown another head. Was it just him, or had his mother truly sounded so… cheerful? He was pretty sure that she was talking about the incident yesterday at the restaurant. Harima Mika had probably told his parents everything. Then… shouldn't his mother be a little bit more upset about it?

After all, the official heir of the family had just turned gay.

…temporarily, of course. But that was beside the point.

"Shizuo-kun, are you up yet?" The deep voice accompanied by a soft knock on his bedroom door pulled the younger Heiwajima back to reality.

"Come in", he breathed out upon recognizing his butler's voice, a hand slowly brought up to massage his throbbing forehead. It was still too early in the morning for his foggy brain to comprehend everything.

"Turn on the TV." was the first thing that slipped past Tom's lips as the older man stepped into the room.

Shizuo blinked.

"Wha-" The words died in his throat as his eyes drank in the man's serious expression. The blond made a tsk sound with his tongue, before walking towards his bed to get his TV remote control.

The plasma screen hummed to life.

"_And now for the big news today, the secret love story between sons of the two most notable figures in Japan this year!"_

"_Evidence." (And we even have proof.)_

Shizuo didn't think his eyes was able to open any wider as the previous day's memories suddenly flashed across his TV screen, slowly and painfully, accompanied by the excited squeals of the bespectacled reporter. There he was, grabbing and pulling the black-haired waiter against his chest, smiling at Harima-san's stunned face and proudly announcing…

"…_I'm gay. And this is my boyfriend." _

Shizuo didn't know if he should crawl into a hole and die, or just go murdering the first creature his hand could touch.

"What the-"

o0o

"_-fuck, Izaya-nii? You've just been home for a week and now you're getting __**married**__?" _

For the second time that day, Izaya had to put the phone a good five inches away from his ears when his little brother's screeching screams burst through the receiver. The raven smirked as Hibiya's frustrated voice carried on with the boy's now mostly unheard rants, his hand idly tracing the smooth buttons on his TV remote control as he leaned back on the sofa.

"Relax, Hibi-chan! Who says your beloved big brother is getting married?" Ruby eyes glinted playfully as he pressed the machine back to his ears, knowing full-well that his singsong tone under this situation would just annoy Hibiya even further. He could practically _sense_ the boy's glare on the other line. "You, of all people, should know that this is-"

"_-clearly not a misunderstanding at all! Heiwajima Delic himself admitted that they're currently in a relationship! Just look at the passion-"_ A swift click on the remote and the braided-haired reporter's enthusiastic chirpings instantly ceased in its existence.

Hibiya sighed. _"Would it kill you to be serious once in a while?"_

"Would it kill you to stop being an uptight brat?"

"_I'm not an uptight brat!"_

"You're uptight, and fourteen. That makes you an uptight brat." Izaya's smirk widened as he heard a groan from his little brother.

"Did mom say anything about this?"

"Ah, you don't have to worry about mom. She's just being, you know, herself." An excited cry from upstairs fiercely interrupted his words, but Izaya continued as if nothing had happened, "I think I pretty much have an idea about who spread the news to Mairu and Kururi, though. Heh, how troublesome~"

A minute passed.

"…_You're having fun, aren't you?"_

"I love you, too." The smirk on Izaya's lips widened when the sound of a phone being thrown violently to the floor officially ended their conversations.

His baby brother was just too cute sometimes.

The twenty four-year-old man tapped his cellphone slightly on his lower lips, a languid smile dawning on his handsome features as memories from the previous day once again flashed across his TV screen. Scarlet irises narrowed, much like the way a cat's eyes would when spotting its favorite prey as the image of a certain blond popped into his sight. A deep chuckle escaped his lips as Izaya lazily stretched his slim body, attempting to find a more comfortable position on the sofa.

He truly hadn't expected his trip back to Japan after seven years to be this… interesting.

Izaya had to admit that helping the Heiwajima that day at the restaurant hadn't originally been his intention. After all, Orihara Kyouko's purpose in forcing her eldest son to work as a trainee at one of her famous restaurants certainly wasn't to teach him how to poke his nose in her precious customers' business. And Izaya himself, too, didn't find such actions anything more than a waste of time.

Why had he done what he had done, then?

The reason was simple: He had wanted to see how the blond would react upon seeing the desperation whirling inside those amber eyes.

And that was why he had stepped in, with a pen in his hand and a smile on his lips, waiting for the Heiwajima to use the God-sent interruption to scurry away like the pitiful man he was supposed to be.

The reaction he got back was beyond his expectation.

For now, Orihara Izaya knew that he would be kept entertained for a while.

"_-Heiwajima Delic himself admitted that they're currently in a relationship-"_

Pause.

Rewind.

"_-Heiwajima Delic himself admitted-"_

Pause.

Rewind.

"_-Heiwajima Delic himself-"_

A smirk.

"Oh? It seems that they can't even get your name right…"

Grin, grin.

"…ne, Heiwajima Shizuo-san?"

o0o

_My special thanks to: **sesshyluhvr, Tsumetai-kaze, akirachan610, Cael Luciano, mika. siam. 71192, twinkee-neekee, anon, keiko-uchiha, GoPlayInTrafficxox** __for their review in chapter 1. I'm glad that you like the story and I appreciate all of your kind words 3._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III**

Shizuo stared at his drink with quiet vengeance.

He had thought that after all those tedious months of being a substitute for Delic, his tongue would somehow grow accustomed to the bitter taste of beer. But as the hateful liquid started to grow a sarcastic face and smirk at him, the younger Heiwajima knew that he could do nothing but sitting there and wishing that a meteor would conveniently fall down and hit his brother on the head.

It wasn't like the heavy-as-brick atmosphere in the room made it any better.

"So you have a boyfriend." His father's voice was solemn and powerful. "And you've never told us about him."

The blond made a not-so-polite noise at the back of his head.

A breeze danced by peacefully.

"I…was… getting to it?" He laughed nervously, his eyes secretly darting to a far corner of the room where his mother was still chatting happily over the phone with Mrs. Orihara, completely unaware of the other two occupants.

So much for attempting to ask her for help.

"Hm."

_Not the 'hm'. Anything but the 'hm'. _

Shizuo knew it would be a disaster even before he arrived at his parents' place, but this is just purely _awkward_. He should have at least taken Tom-san with him. The old butler had such a way with words that could always calm Mr. Heiwajima down when his father was in a bad mood.

"You could have said something earlier. Instead of, you know, having us arrange all those omiais."

And of course his father was in a bad mood. While his mother seemed oddly elated at the news, his father was still a business man and the head of the family through and through. Having his official heir suddenly come out of the closet _all over the news _was certainly not something to be thrilled about.

"Listen to me, son." A sigh. "I've been thinking…"

Nevertheless, there was a bright side to all of this. Shizuo wasn't sure why his little trick that day at the hotel hadn't been exposed the moment their parents called the Orihara household, but he would gladly take the piece of luck that he rarely had. All he really needed now was his father's absolute objection to Delic's "boyfriend", and then he could just casually tell the man that they'd have a clean break up the next day.

With his father's power, just a wave of his hand was more than enough to calm the public media down. Hopefully before Delic get back from his trip to who-even-knows-where.

"…I've been thinking that…"

_Almost there._

"…Maybe we should have, you know, _the talk._"

Murderous silence.

…

…

"…Excuse me?" The blond unconsciously reached up to loosen the collar of his shirt. Maybe he really needed that beer now.

"I know you were dating girls before, but this is the first time you and a man… you know…" The head of the Heiwajima cleared his throat uncomfortably. "…And your boyfriend is not just anyone, but the eldest of the Oriharas… So I did some research…"

Shizuo wanted to bury himself somewhere and just die quietly.

_Really _quietly.

"Dad, I'm _twenty-three_ already. I don't need _the talk_."

"Well, but still…"

"_Dad._"

His father gave him a look as if he had just killed a puppy and thrown the poor thing's mangled corpse down the sewer. But before the man could say anything else, his mother dashed towards them with an excited smile on her face.

"Good news." She breathed out, pointing to the phone in her hand. "I've already arranged everything with Mr. And Mrs. Orihara. We're having dinner together this Friday!"

_Crack._

Shizuo could feel the glass in his hand break into pieces, but he couldn't care less as his mind was too busy working on a metaphor for the ridiculous situation that he just found himself in.

The sun shone brightly in the sky.

Somewhere, a spider tripped, fell, and died a painful death.

"…Delic?"

"…Yes, dad?"

"… Are you sure you won't need that talk?"

For the first time in his life, Shizuo wanted to cry.

o0o

"A dinner this Friday? Sure, mom, why not?"

Izaya's lips stretched upward into an amused smile as he flipped his phone shut and ended their conversation. A part of him wanted to burst out laughing at the sudden turn of event, but the raven-haired man decided against it while idly sipping his morning coffee. Cackling like a lunatic certainly wouldn't do any good for his public image, the Orihara thought as he winked at the paparazzo who had been tailing him from the moment he left his house.

The man scurried away in a heartbeat.

"You sure are calm about this." Shinra shook his head as his eyes quickly scanned through the newspaper in his hand. "I thought you'd hate all the attention, since you love lurking around people and all."

"That's really mean, Shinra. It's not 'lurking'." Izaya pouted, but the bemusement quickly returned to his ruby irises as he continued to watch a waitress passing by, carefully deciphering her habits and character. "I call it 'observation'."

"I pity this Delic guy somehow, having to be stuck with you." His friend let out a small sigh and put the paper back on the table.

Memories of a certain blonde came rushing back into his mind, and the Orihara allowed himself to snicker a little. "Oh yes, I wonder what he'll do next."

"Why don't you give him a call? I bet you got his phone number already."

"Yes, I did. But I won't call him." Izaya glanced at the phone dangling between his fingers. "Or more like his number can't be called."

"Huh? Why not?"

A smirk. "Because he is 'Delic'."

Shinra gave him a puzzled look, but Izaya ignored him.

"Besides, wasn't he the one who came on to me?" Grin, grin. "It'll be really rude if he doesn't call first."

As if on cue, his phone started to vibrate. An 'unknown ID' message flared up on the screen.

"…Sometimes you can be pretty scary, Izaya-kun."

"You love me anyway." The Orihara stuck his tongue out at his friend, before pressing the answer button. "Hello? Heiwajima-san? How did you know my number?"

o0o

Shizuo adjusted his tie nervously.

Before silently cursing himself for losing his calm before he even tried to initiate any conversation.

The younger Heiwajima didn't even know why he was feeling so uneasy to begin with. It wasn't like this was the first time he had ever been to a private meeting, and Orihara Izaya definitely shouldn't be any different from his normal clients. If his sources of information were correct, the man was only a year older than him. Not to mention that that baby face made it even easier for Shizuo to imagine that he was talking to one of his juniors.

On the opposite side of the table, Izaya seemed to be perfectly composed.

"You should try the pudding here, Heiwajima-san." The raven-haired man gave him a friendly smile as he flipped through the menu. "I heard that its taste is absolute heaven."

Shizuo groaned internally.

_Damn that man, how did he manage to act so casually?_

"…Why did you do it, Orihara-san?"

"Hm?" His companion raised an eyebrow. "Since I invited you here, I just thought that you'd like to know what's good."

"That's not what I meant." was the frustrated reply. "It was you who sold that tape to the media, wasn't it?"

Izaya was quiet for a moment. The older man leaned back on his seat, tilting his head slightly as his expression melted into an amused smirk.

"My, that was quite an accusation. Why did you think that I was the culprit?"

"You are practically the next heir of the Orihara. Unless you want to, none of the security tapes that day could have left the restaurant. And I'm pretty sure that there weren't any paparazzi around that day."

It was a long shot in the dark, but something in the Orihara's relaxed body language told Shizuo that the man was certainly not innocent.

For now, he'd have to trust his instincts.

"The question is, why did you do it? Money surely can't be your motive."

Deep fiery eyes pinned on him.

The blonde swallowed uncomfortably. He had never been attracted to men, but a tiny part of him had to admit that those endless ruby pools were beautiful enough to make his stomach clench a little.

Or it could just be the heat. Right. Probably the heat.

"Well, the truth is…" Izaya finally sighed and shifted in his seat, before the raven suddenly leaned forward and shortened the gap between them. "…I've had a crush on you for three years, Heiwajima-san."

The table between them was small enough that Shizuo could feel their breath mingling into one. Time seemed to have skidded to a halt, and his companion was blushing a little.

There was a breaking sound somewhere in the café.

"…Don't lie. You were in England for the last 7 years."

"Aw, so you did your research already? Too bad."

_Twitch. _

The younger Heiwajima could sense a vein popping up and throbbing violently on his forehead. Here he was, all anxious and possibly hallucinating from the heat, and that Orihara guy was already making fun of him?

He had the urge to break something again.

Not good.

"Be serious, won't you? This is no laughing matter!"

"Fine, if you insist. Personally, I think a long time crush was a much better excuse." The raven pouted. "The real reason I did it was…" A dramatic pause.

Shizuo waited.

"…for fun."

A cricket chirped.

A waiter idly passed by, minding his business as usual.

"…Come again?"

"For fun." accompanied by a brilliant smile.

_Twitch._

"I'll fucking kill you, _you bastard_." Shizuo lowered his voice dangerously, his grip on the table starting to form ugly cracks under the cloth. For fun? All the trouble he had gone and would have to go through, _for fun?_

"Ah ah ah, was that any way to talk to your boyfriend? Weren't you the one who wanted to know why?" Great, the bastard was _sparkling _now.

He was having the urge to break something again. _Someone._

Not good.

"Listen up, _flea_." Golden eyes narrowed into furious slits. "This Friday, I want you to be there at the dinner. And you better tell them that we're going to break up."

The Orihara seemed thoughtful for a moment. "…No."

There was another breaking sound somewhere in the café.

"No?"

"No."

"Well why the _fuck _not!?"

"Didn't you listen to what I said, Heiwajima-san? I was _bored_!" Izaya gave him a heartbreaking look, as if what the man had just uttered was the most normal thing ever. "Plus, if I'm already in a 'relationship', my parents wouldn't complain about me not having one. And our families would be happy to get a chance to do business together, don't you think? Everyone will be happy."

The blonde slammed his hand on the table. He'd had enough of this bullshit talk, and he had the feeling that just another word from Izaya would be enough to drive him up the wall. Shizuo was perfectly aware of what happened when he lost control of his strength, and he certainly didn't want to destroy things in public if he could help it.

"Stop blabbering nonsense, flea." He glared at the smaller man. "I'd rather die than being in a 'relationship' with you. Even if it's pretend."

Izaya cocked his head to the side, the friendly smile once again returned to his handsome face. Shizuo clenched his teeth, shuddering at the fact that he used to think that it was a _nice _smile.

"Well, that's just too bad." The older man spoke up, his voice soft and calm. "I suppose I'll just have to tell Harima-san that you pretended to be gay just to chase her off?"

Thunder roared in the horizon.

It started to rain.

"I don't think the Harimas will like it, you know. Your father will probably be upset."

The younger Heiwajima couldn't believe in his ears. He had come to learn that the bastard was, well, a bastard, but this was just _impossible._

"You…" He sputtered. "You _fucking flea."_

"Aw, see, you're getting into it. Pet names!" His companion responded all too happily, completely unfazed at the murderous aura that Shizuo was directing at him. "Oh, and one more thing…"

The older man idly stood up. Shizuo barely had time to react when a hand curled around his jacket, yanking him close and…

…Izaya pecked him on the cheek.

_What the __**actual fuck.**_

"Paparazzi." The Orihara whispered into his ears. "Be careful next time when you get angry, _Delic-chan_."

A seductive wink, and then his companion was gone.

That night, another fridge came flying out of the Heiwajima mansion's window.

* * *

*Laughs nervously* I'm really, truly sorry to anyone who's been following this fic. The last few months had been quite crazy for me, so I couldn't really concentrate on writing. But lol, at least I'm back with my ugly writing? *slippers in face*

My special thanks to **unjaundiced**,** isthisparadise**, **AyameD18**, **twinkle-twinkee**, **Antique. Clockwork **, **keiko-uchiha**,** mika. siam. 71192**,** GoPlayInTrafficxox**, **blackirishawk**, **91kaycee** and **Rikka-tan** for their reviews on the last chapter. I love you guys so so much and here have a thousand cookies *glomphugkisses*


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